Finite

via Daily Prompt: Finite

fi·nite
ˈfīnīt/
adjective
  1. 1.
    having limits or bounds.
    “every computer has a finite amount of memory”
    synonyms: limitedrestricteddeterminatefixed

    I am feeling as if my life is very finite lately. Limited. Bounded. Being 21 and being a full time mother, worker, and student is exhausting to say the least. Some days it takes all I have just to get out of bed, yet I do that and so much more. But when I reflect back on my days or my weeks, I feel as if it is incredibly finite. I am so limited to the things I can do with my crazy schedules, limited funds, limited time. I feel bounded to my house, my work place, and my child and husband. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my family… but some days… feel very… finite. I feel restricted to this rat race lifestyle where I am constantly trying to get ahead for the benefit of my family instead of enjoying the journey of life and where it wistfully takes me. Sometimes I wish I could just sit back and enjoy the ride, but instead I have much more to worry about then just myself so I have to put so much thought and preparation into absolutely everything that I do on a daily basis. Shit, I cannot even go to the tanning salon on my way home from work without making plans for letting the babysitter know I’ll be a few minutes late, or just throwing in the towel on those plans all together (which is what normally happens). Maybe this is just a stage of life, and maybe it gets better (and freer from here), but right now I feel like I am stumbling through a very “finite” life.

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